When Life Knocks You Down..

Bismillah. I write this for myself as a reminder for me when the alarm went red, i will put my hands down to push myself up again. But if this will inspire others too, i feel glad. We both fall, we both will rise again. Just like the sun. Insya Allah. :)

#I wish my English is good. But humph,*sigh*. I will work hard then for the 4 language.
 Insya Allah.

Things always dont go like we wants. And it always hurt like hell when it comes around.

Sometimes we have to face things that we wish would never happen.

Loves, Families, Friends, Dreams, Hopes, Jobs and others.

Sometimes the pain keep aching like a drum. Sometimes the pain is real. (What i mean with real is like a bruised arm that if we touched it we can feel the pain.) The pain get so real until our chest hurt. Our heart hurt. And it shows how heavy the burden is. It shows how deep it hurts. It shows how sad we are. The pain shows us.

Sometimes we even can't lift our head to look up. We want to cry but we are tired with all the pain that we have to bear. And sometimes we cry it all out until our body worn out. We think that we can't bear the pain. The pain that so hurt. The pain that breaks our heart. Sometimes it feels like our heart had burst. And we can feel the pain right in the chest. We touch but we can't reach. We want to heal but we can't find the cure. We want to let it go, but it stay with us forever.

Sometimes our mind goes wild. We blame God for all those pain. We curse the pain. We curse the scar. We challenge God to change things. We talk like we dont believe in God. We ask God why it is us. We cant accept the pain that keep aching. We curse everything and we walk astray.

Sometimes the old cuts bleed back. And the pain is double. The old cut we try to mend is bleeding back. The old memories we want to forget is rushing back. All the things we see remind us back to the past. The past that we want to leave. And the misery makes us cry. We try to hold back but the pain keep aching in silent. Just like the anguish heart that suffers and suffers.

So when the time comes, have faith! I know it hurts to smile while our heart are grieving. I know it hurts. I know the sorrow. But, hey! We will pass this test right? We will survive right? The pain will slowly walk away. The ache will take a lift soon. The fight will soon put to an end.

When you want to scream and shout, do it. (i know it doesnt sound any good. It was like we mad to the fate. We mad to God. But, when i shout with all my might, the sense comes.. Hey, you look so pity. You scream like crazy but Allah tells you that He knows what in your heart.) When you want to cry your heart out, just cry. (this is just a suggestion, go look into the mirror of what you have become after you cry or you went mad. Is that you? Hurmm. I hate the way i look after i cried. I dont know the person who stands in the mirror with the burning angry eyes.)

I know it is easy to say when i said:Hey,keep calm soul. Soon everything will be fine. One does not simply calm down when everything went wrong. I remember what myself told me: When you cry, it shows that your iman need to recharge back. (i mean when you feel depressed aaa, not the tears that run down on your cheeks because of remembering and regretting your sins.) I kind of agree with myself and sometimes i hold myself not to cry because i dont know why i cry. Am i crying because i think Allah had let me down? Hah! That shows that i am not husnudzon with Allah. Allah The Almighty said: Inni fi dzonni 'abdi. (Aku dalam sangkaan hambaKu) Am i trying to accuse Him for what had happened? Hah! That shows my iman was decelerating fast.

It hurts. I know. Even to lift up our head and just try to look in front, it hurts. All we see is darkness. All we do make us cry. Yeah. It hurts. Very. And the what if song starts to sing melody-ly in our mind. I can say that the wound takes time to heal. But insya Allah it will heal when the times pass. And will make us even stronger tomorrow. How can we cursed the scar when it is the proof that we had survived?

Take time to move on. But dont take it so long. With Bismillah keep moving on even a step in front. It shows that we are brave enough to bear the pain. It shows us that we are struggling to accept the pain. I told myself once, it's about time to grow up and leave the past. But not to forget it. Enduring is one thing,but what is the most important is learn,so that we will not repeat the same again. There's many thing that doesnt walk the way we want and we hurt. But there's also many things that we cant control it and must try to accept. It is the fate. The fate that was arranged by Him.

And, all i can tell you is, try to read the tafsir. Sure the ayah will comfort your heart. The ayah will put us at ease if only we believe. I know its hard to reach out the tafsir while we are yelling why  why why in silent. But, find the courage to lift your hand to reach the Quran. Why? Because only Allah can heal. So, if you do want to, you have to find a really-works-well cure by searching for the right source, right?

When i listened to Segenggam Tabah, my heart cries. Yeah. I need the segenggam tabah to continue on. Everybody tells me: Allah tak bebankan kamu kalau kau tak mampu. It is true. But its hard to accept when we feel that we had reach the limit right? Enough is enough. Hehe. Our brain cant digest the words. But then, put your hand to your chest and said: Bismillah. La yukallifullahu nafsan illa wus'aha. Have faith,dear. Have faith. Because all we need is Allah.

The road that was fated to us is neither beauty and smooth as others. Nor easy and full of joy. But then, remember.. Some of us even worst. They cried not because they have failed the exam, but they cried because their friends died when the school was bombed! They cried not because they missed their family, but they cried over their brother's dead bodies! They cried because there's nothing to eat in three days. They cried because the weather is too cold and they have nothing to wear. Yeah. Then we will realised that we are lucky enough. But we are not so grateful. We always thought we are the only one. But the truth is, Allah had only knocks you down so that you know how powerful is sujood and dua are.

When our lifes full of blossom, we forget the pain and we went wild. And when life knocks us down, we count all the pain we had to get through. We forget to count all the blessings Allah had lend us. Indeed, the one who is cruel is not Allah but ourselves. So, when life knocks you down remind yourself,that you fell sometimes not because of the fate that Allah has planned,but because of your own fault. You climb higher only to create a greater pain when you fall.

And last but not least, with all those wrong grammars i wrote, please laugh. Hehe. Oh my English.. And I would like to take this oppurtunity of this eid mubarak to ask for your forgiveness, all my wrongs that hurts you, all all all lah. Kullu 'amin wa antum bikhoir. Everyone, Allah will always be with you. And the death will come to us soon. So, may the spirit of Ramadhan stay alive in our heart. Barakallahu lakum and Jazakumullah for reading this blog. May our jannah's account keep accelerating. And this Zain Bikha song inspires me. So i would like to share to others. And also, Taqabbalallahu minna wa minkum Ya Allah.

Allah Knows- Zain Bikha.

When you feel all alone in this world 

And there's nobody to count your tears 

Just remember, no matter where you are 

Allah knows 

Allah knows

When you carrying a monster load 

And you wonder how far you can go 

With every step on that road that you take 

Allah knows 

Allah knows 

No matter what, inside or out 

There's one thing of which there's no doubt 

Allah knows 

Allah knows 

And whatever lies in the heavens and the earth 

Every star in this whole universe 

Allah knows 

Allah knows 

When you find that special someone 

Feel your whole life has barely begun 

You can walk on the moon, shout it to everyone 

Allah knows 

Allah knows 

When you gaze with love in your eyes 

Catch a glimpse of paradise 

And you see your child take the first breath of life 

Allah knows 

Allah knows

When you lose someone close to your heart 

See your whole world fall apart 

And you try to go on but it seems so hard 

Allah knows 

Allah knows 

You see we all have a path to choose 

Through the valleys and hills we go 

With the ups and the downs, never fret never frown 

Allah knows 

Allah knows

Every grain of sand, 

In every desert land, He knows. 

Every shade of palm, 

Every closed hand, He knows. 

Every sparkling tear, 

On every eyelash, He knows. 

Every thought I have, 

And every word I share, He knows. 

Allah knows