Das Leben

2019 was so full of hatred, anger and bitterness that I almost couldn't afford to stay calm and be patient all the time. This also leads me to cut off a couple of relationships. See, when you fill yourself with negative energy, you are not capable to neutralize them anymore when people throwing them at you. Instead, the negative energy within you will either be charged or triggered by those toxic people. I couldn't deal with the source of pain that caused me anger, hatred and bitterness at the moment no matter how hard I try. But I couldn't afford myself to stay angry all the time. So, I distant myself from them. Those who are dishonest hypocrites, condescending, manipulative and sarcastic jerks. I try to ignore the sarcasm, the lie and the acting by pretending I don't understand or know nothing about it. But here's the thing: I always know. I just don't really care. They don't hurt me but I don't want their toxic words and behavior to fuel the fire I

Hai Gaiss, Jadi, selepas 4 Tahun 4 Bulan aku terbang ke Jerman, aku kembali semula ke tanah air, tempat tumpahnya kesetiaan dan segala cintaku. Aku pulang bercuti selama 9 minggu dan Alhamdulillah untuk nikmat yang Tuhan pinjamkan walaupun sekejap, berjaya membuat aku terlupa tentang jerih payah hidup sebagai perantau. Hanya apabila aku mengusung bagasi seberat 37 kilogram di tangan dan di atas belakangku, aku pantas teringat kembali beginilah rasanya susah payah tanpa keselesaan dan kemudahan di negara orang. Cuti 9 minggu terisi dengan pelbagai aktiviti dan makan-makan. Ada juga makanan atau masakan yang aku masih belum sempat jamah dan ada juga aktiviti yang tidak terbuat. Tidak lupa rutin berulang-alik ke klinik kerana penyakit lama aku disahkan kembali aktif semula. Tapi secara keseluruhannya, aku gembira kerana dapat bertemu dan menatap kembali wajah-wajah yang aku rindu dan biasa bermain di hati. Terima kasih Tuhan dan terima kasih semua. Pantas masa berlalu, hari semalam ha