As we are approaching the end of the year 2020, I find my heart starts to fill with rage and fire again. I'm hurt and angry (probably at God again). I know we all have a hard time this year but we are not exactly in the same boat. As for me, I saw 2020 as a hope, that after everything I went through in 2019, 2020 is going to be fine. At least, that's what I've been telling myself. And now we are already in December, I think I've lied to myself enough. So, let's summarize what happened in the year 2020. First of all, I had a sleep disorder. My sleep problem was terrible and it all started after I came back to Germany. Sometimes, I was getting like 3 hours of sleep in a 24-hour period. This disaster continued on for almost 8 to 9 months. However, this sleep disorder helped me a lot while getting through Ramadhan. So, for the first time since I arrived in Germany, I can follow another version of the prayer calendar, which I believe is more nature convincing. Oh yes, me